The Testimony and Story of Pastor Jacques Engelbrecht (Our Senior Pastor)

It all started one evening in 1975, where I was kneeling at my bed and asking Jesus to come into my life. In primary school, our English teacher had told us his testimony about his wonderful Lord Jesus, which encouraged me to take this wonderful step.

Once I started high school, I grew cold in my relationship with Christ. I discovered a new world of hormone flooded mischief and adventure. At this point of my life I did not have a proper “spirit filled” church to guide me or support me in my young spiritual life . I noticed that all the talk of girls did not really interest me at all. I was more interested in my friends themselves. Much more interested. I did not know what it meant to be attracted to my own male friends. I didn’t even know what gay meant. It was only years later that I understood what it meant. However, it was only by grace that I survived high school.

It was only in 1983, whilst in the army (compulsory military training those days) that I came to the full and shocking realisation that I was in fact gay. (Can you believe it?). Someone had taken me along to a “club” in Hillbrow (Johannesburg). I thought we were going to a sports club. It was only after my eyes got used to the dark interior of this club, that I noticed people of the same sex were dancing with one another. I felt a strange excitement rush through me. I saw people of the same gender relating intimately with each other. This is what I had wanted to do for years. Show my affection to boys at school, but was too afraid to. It was during this experience that I just knew that I was indeed a homosexual.

I felt a sense of great freedom in knowing at last why I had these strong feelings towards boys and absolutely zero sexual urges for girls. However, this new elation did not last very long. Now thoughts came to me, thoughts of, what will my family say? What will my friends say? Society? OH MY GOD, what will the church say? So I decided not to tell anyone about this. I chose to live a gay life in secret, like most other gay people.

God of course, was still always there in my consciousness. You can never run from that.

Up to 1986 I lived in a fog of alcohol and loose one night stands. This never satisfied the need for real love and intimacy. Then in August of that year, a lady whom worked for the same company and on the same floor as me came to my office. I did not know her personally, but I had seen her around a few times. She told me that God had sent her to talk to me. I had a hangover from the night before and was in no mood for a religious freak. She explained that she was not into religion, but rather had a personal relationship with Christ. She invited me to a service at her church that Sunday morning, to which I thought, fat chance! There was NO way! I made all kinds of excuses as to why I wouldn’t be able to make it. That evening, I was at home alone and completely sober, God spoke to me. It was one of the few times in my life that I heard His voice audibly.

He said to me: “This is your last chance!”

His voice rang through my body. I jumped up and checked the front door and the windows of my apartment to see if there was anyone there. But I knew it was God. Needless to say, I went to church that Sunday morning with the office lady. The church was a charismatic church.

So on the 17 August 1986 I recommitted my life to Jesus Christ. I wept like a baby that morning. Gods spirit just flooded my soul. Later that year the Lord baptised me in His Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues. I would never be the same. God took my useless life and put me on a course of purpose. I again felt the calling of God that I had felt as a child. So I did a number of courses at the church and completed a ministry diploma in 1988.

Off course, the gay thing was now over. As far as I was taught it was sin, sin, sin. . . Abomination, abomination, abomination. I lived the next 14 years of my life in abstinence, serving the Lord and the church. I prayed hundreds of times and even fasted for God to change me. I had to become heterosexual. Homosexuality was wrong. Unnatural, an abomination! God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve . . .

I went on several dates with several beautiful women. Lovely ladies. I tried to will my body and soul into action. I kept telling myself that I love women, I love women, I love women . . . I’m attracted to women, I’m attracted to women, I’m attracted to women . . .

Please dear Lord help me, I beg you. Give me a desire for women. I nearly got engaged twice. Both ladies were beautiful Christian women. Both times God stopped it by speaking to both me and the bride to be.

In December 1998 I finally broke down before God. I had enough! All these preachers and evangelists were telling us how terribly sinfull homosexuality was. But I had tried, God knows how I tried. So that December, I told the Lord that I would not go out with women anymore. They always end up getting hurt. Enough!! I would live a single life forever if I had to. I would live only for the Lord. It would be God and me.

It was after this complete surrender in December 1998, that God began to speak to me about the gay issue. He himself spoke to me. Not a preacher or evangelist, not a church, but the Lord. For the next two years, I tested to see and to make sure that I had heard correctly from the Lord. This led me to write the teaching: “The Truth Revealed” in 2000.

Today I am a the Senior Pastor and Founder of Agapé Revelation Church in Johannesburg, South Africa. The meaning of our name is: God’s unconditional love revealed. Because God's Love is total and unconditional! Our members love the Lord and serve Him with passion. The Spirit of the Lord touches our people with His fire and anointing. He blesses us richly and we are so grateful. We give Him all the Glory.

The days of doubt are officially over, we have been uniquely made the way we are, for a purpose. His purpose! Even though people might not understand, we live for our King, Jesus Christ. It is His will we seek and not man’s.